Category: Parent Talk
Hi all, I have a few questions I'd like to pose about parenting.
I am totally blind, and married to a sighted woman. I've heard, from various sources, some pretty nasty horror stories about blind parents being harassed by overzealous hospital staff, child protective services, social services, and the like.
Is there anything that I, as a blind parent, should do or be aware of when we decide to have children?
I already have planned to interview pediatricians in my area to determine which of them is most amenable to dealing with a blind parent.
I also read a website about taking some sort of blind parenting classes or some such from the nfb.
So, would any of you recommend doing that kind of thing? If for no other reason than to be prepared?
Will there be anything I should know about dealing with the hospital staff around the time of the birth?
Is there any chance that I might have to deal with cps or any other agents of social services, or government related red tape?
I appreciate any responses.
If there's anybody out there who reads this and has something to say but doesn't feel comfortable discussing it in a public forum, I'd be happy to talk via private message.
I know there are blind parents out there who have had problems like the ones I'm concerned about. I also know that there are others who haven't had trouble at all. I'm trying to figure out if this is a common thing, and if I need to be worried about becoming a parent. Do I need to seek legal council when we decide to have children?
Is it going to be a tooth and claw battle just to keep my kids, or will I be able to just do what sighted folks do and have a hastle free time of it?
This is very important to me and my wife, so again, any comments or advice is greatly appreciated.
Thanks
Having never been a parent myself, I can't say how much help this will be. My only experience comes from friends of mine who are blind parents, so I hope someone has more thorough answers for you.
My guess is that you won't have too hard a time of it, given that your wife is sighted. Where hospital staff and social service and child protective agencies start overstepping themselves is usually when both parents are blind, and said intruders feel they will be unable to care for the child, and that there won't be anyone around who is. One of my best friends is totally blind, and married to a sighted man. Concerned hospital staff did call in social services. My friend had already figured out nursing the baby, bathing and changing him, etc. The social service people hung around to watch her do those things. They also made it clear that they expected the sighted father to be the primary care-taker of the child rather than my friend. My friends tried to explain that they would equally care of the child. Social services got off their back pretty quickly. Part of it was my friend proving she was competent, but I suspect the greater reason was her sighted husband, who, despite what the couple said, they still thought would be primary care-taker. So, while you may encounter a bit of hassle, I don't think it would be too bad for you. Just my guess. But you are wise to look into this now, and ask around about various people's experiences and solutions when problems have arisen.
I have been reading a lot about this stuff recently, and I'm absolutely horrified at the power these people wield.
Government kidnappers with yearly quotas of children they have to take away? Hastling blind parents when they allow meth heads and neglectful crazy people to keep their children? I've always been aware of discrimination against blind people, what with unequal access to education and employment and all that, but this is just inconceivable.
From what I've read, they can only start investigations if they've been tipped off to parental abuse by an outside source. So you're telling me that that's not true for blind people? They can just see that there's a blind parent and go ahead with this fascist government sanctioned intrusion into the lives of private citizens?
the fact of the matter is, people do things that aren't right all the time. while it's certainly good to know what to do should you encounter something crazy, I do think you're worrying too much about the what ifs. if you think classes will help you become better prepared, by all means, take them. however, from talking to people who are parents, both blind and sighted alike, in addition to being the observant human I am, I can say there's nothing that can truly prepare you for such an experience. I've also heard a lot of it is instinctual, as well. just do the best with what you have, don't be afraid to be resourceful, and I bet you'll find things quite rewarding in the end.
Hey, Chelsea is absolutely right. While there are horror stories about blind parents and how social services tend to overstep the line, it's not bound to happen, and especially if your wife is sighted.
Had she also been blind, I'd tell you to relax as well, however, because I am living proof that parenting while totally blind is perfectly doable and doesn't have to involve social services. Both my self and my totally blind fiance are happily raising our ten-month-old without any such incident. Before my experience with parenting, I felt totally unprepared. I had spent time around babies but because of my blindness, I was never entrusted with such things as diaper changing, bathing, feeding, etc. I was apprehensive about my potential skills as a parent. But guess what? We had the baby, neither of us have ever taken any parenting classes, and our baby is successfully thriving in a happy, healthy and perfectly adequit environment.
Here's what happened before we took him home from the hospital. I had given birth via CSection, which meant that I had to stay at the hospital for a few days longer with the baby. Because my son was born rather small (five pounds), he had a few issues with nursing. The nurses patiently helped me learn how I should go about breastfeeding him. I'm sure some people did feel sceptical about our ability as parents, but I was agreeable, answered everyone's questions to the best of my ability, and I learned what I could.
Heres a few very good tips I can give you.
* Don't be aloof to the hospital staff. Sometimes, when you're on guard about people possibly overstepping the lines when it comes to your baby, you might automatically become defensive, overstating all that you can do by yourself as a parent, appearing to be overconfident... Just relax. These people truly don't know how a blind person would go about raising a baby. Before you become set on the idea that everyone is out to snatch your child from you, realize that hospital staff has to do their best to ensure that every baby goes to a safe home, not just yours. Try to embrace the fact that, yes, your being a parent will be met with some scrutiny here and there, but that's just how it is. Your job is to educate these people and become educated yourself, not just to prove them wrong. An overzealous attitude will get you absolutely nowhere good.
* Learn everything they may want to teach you at the hospital. I took advantage of all the help I was given by the nurses when they came around. Their job is to be there to teach new parents how to care for their little ones, not just blind parents but everyone. Although it is true that they may be more hands-on with you, take that as an advantage, not discrimination. Let them teach you how to diaper your baby, how to position him properly for feeding--It's better for them to show you how to do something rather than watch you stumble over ways to do something because you refuse their help.
* Explain why you may not need there help with something, but take there help when it is reasonable. Pick your battles. Remember, your not there to win. Your job is to be able to get out of that hospital with your baby in tow. So you refusing any and all kinds of help and stating that you can do everything yourself is the very thing that will set off a ringing alarm in some people's heads. Guess what? Every parent, sighted or blind does need a hell of a lot of extra help in the beginning. If they ask you how you'll manage, just tell them that you will have help when you need it. Leave it at that. That's all they want to know.
When I was at the hospital after my baby was born, they decided that I couldn't be left alone with him in the room. Now, I know how this might sound. Horrible. Aweful. Paternalistic. But guess what? I was taking magnesium at the time because I suffered from preeclampsia before the birth. This meant that I had dizzy spels once in a while and I was very very sleepy usually. One nurse clamed that it was hospital policy never to leave a newborn and its mom alone in the room under those circumstances, and though I didnt' really buy that, I didn't put up a fight when they sent over a PCA to be my "companion" when my family wasn't around. My theory that it was more a blindness-related concern proved to be true: when my sighted mom showed up to visit, the companion person left. But when my fiance was there, they always made sure to have someone there as well. Ok. So that's a bit ignorant on their part. But I put up with it because I did everything I was supposed to, I learned what I could and I was confident that I'd have my privacy with my little one when I took him home. Something like that isn't worth causing a stirr. like I said, you need to learn to pick your battles. If hospital staff is ignorant, teach them about your abilities. Will them to be cooperative.
Hospital staff is not going to call child services on you unless someone is really concerned. Now, granted you may encounter that occasional wacko who doesn't know better, but child services can't take your baby away from you if you demonstrate good skills, learn what you need to and know how to play nice but always maintain the upper hand.
How will you diaper your child.
Show them how you do it, and if you make mistakes, allow them to show you how to do it propperly.
How will you feed him or her?
Same thing.
How will you take his temperature?
Talking thermometer.
How will you take him to the doctor if your wife can't make it there with you?
Taxi, hired driver, relative... You get my point.
The people who's babies were taken away had a few things going against them. some of them really and truly weren't prepared to be a parent. They really did lack some skills, going beyond blindness, with, coupled with the blindness itself caused some people concern. Some people appeared way too confident.
Who will help you.
I dont' need any help. Just because I'm blind doesn't mean I need help.
Very much the wrong answer, but I'll bet many people stated it.
But all of this said, your wife being sighted makes your prospects a lot smoother. as stupid as this is, double standards still prevail when it comes to newborns and their moms. Because of the already established bond that a mommy has with her baby, it is often assumed that the mom will be the primary caretaker and the dad just offers support. This wasn't the case with my little family, my fiance does almost everything I do for my baby, we share the responsibility equally. But the hospital staff will be generally less concerned, knowing that your wife is sighted.
Child preparation classes are nice, but not necessary. Nothing prepares you for the unique experience of being a parent. Nothing. You learn as you go. You can have some foresight and obviously use forethought, but you're flying by the seat of your pants most of the time, and you use your instincts. As long as you spend time with your child, nurture him or her and attend to the basic needs, you'll make a good dad.
Please don't worry about government officials knocking down your door to take your baby away. that's not how it goes. People may be ignorant, and they may call in a false alarm, but you confront them, dispute it with child services using your actions, and you call it a day. That's all. Will you encounter child services along the way at some point? probably not, but maybe. But that's like saying, will I ever be in a car accident or will I ever fall victim of a murderous plot. You can't worry about such things. Just take it easy. Have your kid and enjoy him or her. don't overplan, because with a kid, everything you plan will go haywire. Just love him or her and be sure to provide for them to your best ability. That's the most you can do.
Sorry dude, but you'll not even be important. Smile.
I say that in a teasing way, but I'm serious. Your wife can see, so as long as your child is not reported niglected knowone will question you at all.
As said above take the classes if that makes you feel better, but the best way to raise a child is love it.
I was my daughter primary care giver for her starting years. When we had to change cities I took her to the doctor as I always did, and the first question I was ask was "where is her mother." The desk staff told me I couldn't have her services done, because I was not her mother. I told them to get there doctor, and that took care of that.
I'd not do any of the things you said you would. Do them if it makes you feel better, but that is all it will do. If you and your wife were both blind, depending on where you lived no matter how many classes you took you'll still be ask odd questions, but in this case no.
Have fun!
I cannot possibly express how much I appreciate all the comments.
Thanks to everyone who's thrown in advice.
I wasn't thinking of classes because I am worried about being a bad parent, rather because I have just heard so many horror stories about the government and want to have whatever kind of documentation I might need to keep these people off my back.
For real, I think you have a very good point about them thinking I'm not gonna be important at all. That seems to be how it is with all dads, be they sighted or blind when it comes to babies.
Thanks all. You've really set my mind at ease.
Thank you, write away. This was very, very helpful as I think about the future.
I just want to address 1 thing here. One of the posters had some good points, but I do not appreciate the attitude of just humor them and most of those whose kids were taken away were doing at least something wrong and that stuff doesn't really happen that much. I know people whose children have been taken only because of their parents' disability. My own mother was told by someone at planned parenthood that she shouldn't have children. Eugenics boards to staralize blind and other disabled people existed in some states until the 80s or 90s. Just because it hasn't happened to you doesn't mean that it can't in the future or that it doesn't happen to others. I would never let a nurse stay in my room like that. Yes I understand that there is a delicate balance between demonstrating independence and being agressive. I am never passive as you suggest, nor do I suggest being agressive, unless and until you have to be, but assertiveness is a benificial and admirable trait. I had plenty of experience with babies ahead of time and I did everything my way, and would not let them do it for me while I "watched" I did it my way and if they made a suggestion I considered it and rarely took it, but when it was something I was willing to try I did try their suggestion. To the origional poster, this is what I will tell you, being totally truthful and blunt. Your parenting course and legal counsil idea is good, if A. your wife dies or is seriously ill or injured as a result of child birth or B. if you two ever split up. I am only playing devil's advocate, because should you two ever part ways you are doubly screwed. It's not fair, not right, but the legal systems and the family courts favor women, and favor the sighted parent in a sighted blind marriage. So, you'd never get custady unless she had done something truly monsterous, and would be lucky to get good visitation rights if you seperated on unfriendly grounds. I truly hope that you will enjoy a long and happy marriage, I just want you to be mindful. Also, if your wife is ever killed or incopasatated, during child birth or later in life, the courts may try to put your son or daughter in foster care. I have seen this too, and it's sick. I know of a blind woman who had CPS banging down her door the minute her husband was deployed to Iraq. I also am willing to bet that if your wife needs an emergency C-Section or other procedure that you will be left in some waiting room, forgotten and intentionally left out of the loop. If you have a guide dog, you might want to consider bringing it, or if you have a trusted sighted friend who can be your wife's doula or birth coach, it would be great to have them there. It's best to over plan for the worst, and be truly optimistic and hope and pray for the best. It might be good to have a legal doccument from your wife expressing her faith in your abilities as a blind father should she become ill or die, and you should also be her health care proxy. You probably already are, but if not, that's something you should do now. It just makes a few more legal links between you, your wife and your unborn child. I've been to the hospital with my husband and with other people and they almost always try to park me somewhere and leave me out of the loop. My mom used to work for an agency where she would travel to the hospital with the consumers to advocate for them, and she had to fight tooth and nail not to be shunted aside and ignored, so stay on your toes. Taking some birth classes with your wife would also be good. It's just more paper to throw at CPS and more witnesses of your caring compitant role as a husband and potential father. I hope this helps.
SNL has the right idea, so does Write Away.
Interestingly we were at a natural childbirth center, so we had just the midwives and doctor and them. I will say this: Be on guard, yes. Learn absolutely everything. As the dad you be the student there, and trust me they will show you everything. I learned that burrito wrap like nobody's business, even if now birthing experts like SNL would probably give me points off at an attempt nearly two decades later.
You will want them to tell you everything that's happening anyway. You can't see, so when you are separated from the mom while she's in labor, which does happen, all you will hear are sounds of a poor chick in distress. By separated I mean they did that with me so I could "take a break," which is extremely tough to comply with. Their claim was it would make me a better partner once she was into the transition and all. Who knows if what they said about centering or whatever that was, had any effect or not: I just know that was one long fifteen minutes.
But you have to fight all your guard dog instincts to do like they say. And afterwards, while the mom is resting, you will be holding the baby. That is not nearly as difficult as when they take the baby from you in order to do their exams and things.
and though this sounds a bit odd to you now, I'm tellin you as a man, once you catch what comes down that chute, something turns on inside you, and you'll kill to keep her / him protected, warm and happy.
So just ask, not to put the pressure on but to stay informed, and they will tell you anyway so you pretty well know.
Most of this would affect anyone blind or otherwise. The only difference for us is that when you don't have the baby you are only going on what you can hear. But like any guy, you're still gonna feel extremely protective in that situation.
The one fear I actually did have, which in those days I dared not voice for some odd reason, was that I would not be able to tell her apart from another baby in the same room. All babies sounded alike before. I am not one of those guys who babysat little kids, or paid little kids much of any mind at all except when the wife was around or wanted me to keep an eye on a niece. But within days, someone else came to our house with their baby, and I could immediately tell which was which.
The only way is exposure, and I'd done most the caring for, since the wife was recovering from the birth.
You just gotta keep your eyes open, and your wits sharp. This isn't just true of the birth, but all through their life. Honestly, even when my daughter was in middle school, I had the occasion to thank a nosy busybody for cluing me in on what she could learn in two minutes about my daughter. And, of course, remind that I had been with her for her entire life.
People like that will splutter and stall like an aging two-stroke motor when you call them on it, but it doesn't seem to hurt them any. They get over it.
As to the social services part, some states are worse than others. I'm a hardcore about that shit no monkey business: I think if a social services worker interferes on the basis of blindness, and some other kid dies in a crackhouse in her jurisdiction? She oughta get popped criminally and civilly for dereliction of duty. It's not about so-called educating: any of us who function in lifesaving capacity be it volunteer fire, Coast Guard, or anything else knows that your personal beliefs go out the window. It's all about *real* assessment of the situation underway. What I hear from these social service people is all conjecture and all about what they believe or how they feel about the blind parents' fitness. It's an embarrassment to mention them and civic duty in the same sentence. What a bunch of laggards! This is why they go after the blind, in my opinion. Perhaps their belief system, sure, but it's also easier than trying to take out a crackhouse with a jumble of little kids crawling around in that stuff. Someone's gotta show 'em, that isn't being tough, and we're on to their game. That invent-a-crisis game's been played so many times before in so many different scenarios.
I'd like to clarify something that I said in my first post on this topic. I was the person who said I allowed the nurse/PCA to hang out with me when I was alone with my baby and someone else said they'd never let a nurse stay in their room like that. Well, although this might have been a paternalistic play on the hospital's part, I had reason to let that one slide. I was on a whole slew of drugs following the birth of my boy, from magnesium, to Perkaset to a couple of other ones I can't recall that were supposed to counteract the damage done by the preclampsia I had developed. Not to mention, I still had side effects for about a day from the epidural which was administered for the CSection. I was dizzy, disoriented at times, very drowsy and on top of all that, I hadn't spent a minute alone with a baby for about eight years before I had my own son last year. I had no prep for diaper changing and the like; I knew I'd gain my confidence as a new mother by the time we were going to leave the hospital, but I sure as hell didnt' feel so great immediately post birth. So I actually did feel a bit more comfortable knowing someone was around when my family couldn't be. I didn't want my baby to have to sleep away from me in the nursery, but I was literally in and out of it at that point. For example, I was sitting and skin-to-skin bonding with my boy at one point when I suddenly felt so drowsy, I could barely hold him, much less bring him back to his bassinett. Does it make me an incompetent mom to have had the person who was there take him from me, wrap him up and put him in his basinett at that point? No, it shows I'm responsible. I'd much rather do that than drop my one-day-old in a medically-induced state of drowsiness. For that reason and that reason only, I'm actually ok with the fact that the hospital wanted someone to be around. Maybe they didn't do that for everyone, and most likely it was because both I and my fiance are blind, but to hell with the technicalities in this case. Speaking of my fiance, he had absolutely no experience of his own with kids at that point beyond holding and bottlefeeding a baby. Plus, he was running on about six hours of sleep in total over a four day period.
My point is, people should take any help they need as long as their comfortable. It's great that you had experience with babies and were able to do this on your own terms and your way because of it. I was speaking more to the prospective parents who don't have much or any experience with babies prior to having their own. And let's face it, whether sighted or blind, there are plenty of people who have never handled a baby in their life before having their own,and they're not horrible parents. Not if they take the time to learn and become informed and do the best by their children.
When I have my next child, I'll do things much differently, mostly because I have plenty of experience due to my being able to very successfully care for my firstborn. I won't want anyone to be in my room if they dont' belong their in normal circumstances. Both of us feel very confident in parenting a newborn now, and that sort of thing won't fly the second time around. I simply wouldn't be comfortable with it now that I have more of a handle on things. And for my second child, I'm hoping to have a VBac anyway, so here's to hoping that no pain meds will interfere in that case.
As for the child services thing, I guess that's true; Each state has different boundaries, and each social services worker is different too. I might have just been lucky. It never hurts to be alert. And I wasn't suggesting for any new parent to take a passive approach by the way. I'm sorry if that's what it seems I had said. I wholeheartedly believe that assertiveness is the key. But you need to learn to pick your battles according to your individual circumstances, that's all I was trying to convey. Everyone needs help on a different level. Just as long as they'll be able to leave that hospital with their baby in their arms and be able to competently parent afterwords is what counts. Each person and each set of parents has to get their in their own way.
The Eugenics Boards temporarily slipped my mind, admittedly. That's definitely true, and shame on the government for it, too. In a country that boasts freedom of speech and a whole set of personal rights, that we should be afraid of scrutiny or worse as blind parents is incredulous. It's hard to believe that only a few decades ago, forced sterilization was not only legal but routine in some states. Disgusting.
Given those medical circumstances, I would have done the very same thing. It sure beats the crap of having to have the baby sleep away in the nursery.
after my son's birth, my blood pressure shot up to 215 over 185. I was medically sedated for the first 12 hours of his life and only woke briefly to hold him for about 5 minutes. That was definitely not how I had planned our first night together but there was no way in hell I could have propperly cared for him and it was due to no fault of mine.
It just goes to show that you can plan until you're blue in the face but in the end, the little munchkin holds the cards.
Write away, did they tell you beforehand what they were going to put you on? Or did you tell them to leave that up to your partner. It's kind of a change of subject but I'm just curious.
Ryan,
Yeah; I had been in the hospital for a week prior to my baby's birth. I had been taking magnesium and other meds ever since they diagnosed me with preeclampsia. I had no choice as the main goal of the matter was to bring my blood pressure down as well as the amount of urinary protein. I was able to make basic medical decisions for myself; I had enough cognition for that.
I see your point. You are very intelligent and well-written, and I think I can say that is true of me without being a total pompus ass. Erm, I hope. We are both also very passionate and seem to push each other's buttons. *smile* So again I get to use the word clarify, which perhaps I wouldn't have to do so often if I was a little less invested in the issues and or wasn't typing frantically between classes to write posts. So, the clarification. In your circomstances I might well have allowed a nurse. What I meant was that I, the "I" that currently exists, wouldn't ever do that, but the current "I" has a sighted husband, some local people who are supportive and helpful, sighted in-laws, my blind mom, some connections through LLL and others, and I would have told the nurse to get lost and would have had someone else present to keep the hospital staff happy. But, I should have said that. I had to have an epedural and I am so, so, so very lucky that I didn't have any lasting effects from it. I got off damn lucky, and of that I am cogniscent and for that I am greatful. So, Let's talk about social workers, shal we? I am a social work major, yes, one of the ones whose gone over to the dark side. *laughs* and I don't think I can blame social workers so much as I used to. These classes do jack and shit about educating social workers about the practical components of working with diverse groups. Our diversity and opression class keeps mentioning differences of race, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation, disability, language, and so on, but ninety-nine percent of the course deals with women's issues and issues of race. In the whole text book I haven't seen one real mention of disability. The only links she had for disability on her page on the Angel learning system was to the labor statistics for people with disabilities and a link to a local organization, DDSO, developmental disabilities services organization, also known as OMRDD, Office of mental retardation and developmental disabilities. Nothing about any organizations for blind, deaf, physically or mental health disabled individuals. No resources about the VA and it's programs for veterins with mental health disabilities, no mention of the local programs for mental health counsiling or treatment in and out patient, such as the PTSD program in Batavia New York, no mention of ABVI, the association for the blind and visually impared, or CBVH or the vecid or other voc rehab programs. No mention of the local CILs, centers for independent living, or RIT which has a huge Deaf community, or any of the many other organizations or services. And these would come up under a simple google search of Rochester NY plus disabilities. Hell, there is a camp at our college for blind children to learn sports skills, and this professor didn't even mention that. Every time I bring it up I get blown off, so it's no surprise that social workers are uninformed. Everyone's so worried about race, and that is a valid issue to consider, but it is not the only issue, nor is it the most crucial in some communities or situations. It's excedingly frustrating. A psychology text book I used in a class at my previous college was massively out of date and sorely lacking. It even had inaccurate information and I had to scream and throw fits figuratively speaking before I could get the professor to get rid of it. God, the best I can do is insist on educating the professors and students in my classes and once I'm in the profession I will see what else I can do.
That sounds like a tough situation. This is not the first I've heard they don't educate at all on disability though. Or fathers, for that matter: all they know of dads is the deadbeats, so we're all guilty even after proven innocent. But it's good to know how it gets started. I figured it must be systemic somehow, and not a personal thing.
Wow sounds like you will have your hands full.
Well, I, for one, always apreciate and welcome intelligent discourse, and there's nothing wrong with a passionate debate. Although I think we're on the same page regarding the topic of hospitals and babies and blind parenting, etc. now that the clarifications were made. :)
My sighted mom was planning to take a week off of work after the birth of my baby to help me in any way I might need her to, but we decided that it would be best for her to postpone her break till I came home from the hospital, given that I was still recovering from the CSection. We figured she could be more helpful to me at home rather than in the hospital. And my fiance was a little frazzled by the baby's birth, to admit the truth. Not in a negative way, but in a holy-shit-I'm-a-new-dad,-oh-my-god type of way. He had barely slept for the week before and after I gave birth, so he was in a bit of a sorry state although he was extremely enthusiastic and helpful whenever he could be; We joked that he might have been in worse shape than me. lol. Anyway, my point is that I did want to keep the hospital staff happy in the sense that you speak of, but the people I felt most comfortable with weren't able to substitute the PCA/nurse all of the time.
Anyway, moving on to the topick of social workers. God, that is unbelievable! I can't wrap my head around the fact that the professionals who are supposed to work with people of different backgrounds, and presumably during difficult times are taught with such ignorance. It might well be that social workers are well-meaning people; In fact, I'm sure that's the case most of the time, but they come across as so cold and unhelpful that it's unsettling.
If I had any grief about being a blind parent from anyone it was the social worker who asked me about the most basic, most trivial things. She even tried to insist on making my fiance leave the room during her discussion with me; I have no clue why, because he's my baby's father...But she dropped that argument when I insisted on his being there.
You weren't being a pompous ass in stating that you're intelligent and well-written; It's not snobbish to state the obvious. And I say this because I hope that you'll be a great asset to the field of social work. You're very resourceful, judging from your posts and you seem to have accomplished quite a bit already, in general. Given all that, I hope you can make even the slightest difference. For instance, if one of your future clients is skeptical about social workers, they probably won't be after working with you, and that's something. I wish you the best of luck in that field. It seems that you need to go through many frustrations to accomplish anything worth your time, given the system we have currently at our disposal.
Hello. I'm going to put my two cents in for whatever it's worth. smiles. When Chloe was born, the hospital staff showed me how to change her and feed her. I accepted the help gladly. A social worker visited the hospital and I answered there questions. They seemed satisfied. When I left the hosital, I had county health nurses visitig me which was a bit unnerving, but I took there suggestions and help without showing my nervousness. Chloe had a rough start but I took one da at a time and learned all I could. I've also had run ins with cps, but that too went alright. I talked to them and they too seemed satisfied. I got in trouble whenChloe escaped from the house a while back and got taken to court for neglect, I was terrified, but I still have her and would fight for her always. The government thinks they know everything, but without cause, they won't take your child. Always remember to stay one step ahead of them, and take any suggestions you can, even if you think it won't be helpful. Play along. Hope this helps.